Lessons from Parents

Language Lessons from Parents
By Phil Builder

I find that parents generally respond naturally and consistently to their children's attempts to speak. By watching what parents do we learn how to teach. Here are three examples of children's language, and the parent's responses:

Example 1:

Kim, "Mummy gived it to me"
Mother, "Yes. Mummy gave it
to Kim"

Example 2:

Kim, "I doed it myself"
Mother, "Yes! You did it!"

Example 3:

Kim, "Doggy taked the ball!"
Mother, "He took it alright! Will he take it again?"

Conversations such as these are the perfect example of how to teach by responding appropriately to what the child already knows.
Through these we learn about how parents teach naturally, and how to teach other things such as Reading and Writing.

It is only as we try to be teachers that we sometimes complicate the process and make it more difficult for children to learn.

This example is so important that we should analyse it and learn the lesson that it holds. The following explanations draw out the main language elements and make the direct comparison to the teaching of Literacy.

Language Learning		Literacy Learning

Kim confidently experiments with "gived" by trying it out in her interaction with her mother.	Compare <<<------>>>	Young readers and writers experiment with writing a new word that has not been learned yet experimenting with speech marks in a story guessing a new word when reading because it makes sense
The child's attempt at talking is accepted and acknowledged by her mother, who responds realistically and appropriately to the situation	Compare <<<------>>>	We need to be careful how we respond to their early attempts at reading and writing. If we act like the parent above and accept their efforts as normal attempts for a child of this age then we can guarantee that the child will continue to attempt to read, spell, and write. If we don't accept the child's efforts, and we point out the errors and try to teach correctness too early, we could damage the learner's attitude to future learning.
Kim perceives no problem with what she said or how she said it, and will continue to confidently experiment and explore language	Compare <<<------>>>	If children keep getting positive feedback for their efforts, they stay involved as readers and writers. But children who get too much feedback about their errors (being wrong all the time) lose confidence, stop taking risks with their learning, and become reluctant readers and writers.
Mother models the correct way to use that piece of language. eg. "Yes. Mummy gave it to Kim." This is basic and powerful teaching.	Compare <<<------>>>	We can teach by modelling or demonstrating how we read and write. If we do this as part of enjoying everyday shared experiences, the learner sees the correct techniques in real situations. Be careful to demonstrate reality. That is, show your child that you don't know everything and sometimes make mistakes, or have to guess. eg. "I'll try writing it like this and see what it looks like" or, "Is it th-a-y or th-e-y???"
Although Kim hears her mother's response couched in correct grammar, she may not actually be ready to use it for some time yet	Compare <<<------>>>	Children need to be 'ready' to learn something new. That is, they need a foundation of experience and understandings upon which to build new learning. If you try to really "teach" something too soon it may not be learned and the child could lose confidence. Look for things that are nearly learned, that your child is currently experimenting with, and teach that, but don't expect perfection immediately.
Kim's mother will continue to respond like this, without mentioning the grammatical problems, as long as Kim continues with her approximations or experimentations because she understands that Kim is exploring, experimenting, and learning her new language, and that she will improve her grammar eventually, when she has added some more pieces to the language puzzle	Compare <<<------>>>	We have known for some time that children learn to talk by talking, read by reading, and write and spell by writing. Good teachers know therefore, that the main task is to keep them involved as talkers, readers and writers. This means keeping them feeling confident and successful while at the same time observing (watching) what they can do, and only teaching one thing that the child is already grappling with at a time. This ensures that the child is being taught things that are already half learned; things that have already been attended to; and things that have already been explored and experimented with. It does not guarantee that the child will learn it the first time you present it. You may still have to repeat the lesson many times until the child is able to control that information. But once this happens you will never have to teach it again. In fact the child will usually build upon this to teach him/herself even more. This type of teaching continues to accept and acknowledge the child's attempts without judgment, and guarantees that the child will be successful.